Family and custody
A child changes everything – in law too. Here you'll find the most important rules on custody, contact, child support, maternity protection, parental leave and family benefits in plain words, with the matching sections of the law and a quiz to think along.
The six modules
- Everyday contracts (BGB)Online
- Employment contracts and labour lawOnline
- Tenancy agreements and tenancy lawOnline
- Family and custodyYou are here
- Jobcenter, objections and disabilityOnline
- Traffic and insuranceOnline
Module 4: Family and custody
Eight cards for parents, whether married, separated or single. Each card gives you the German legal term, so you recognise it at the youth welfare office (Jugendamt), the family benefits office (Familienkasse) and the parental allowance office.
1Parental custody: married and unmarried
Married parents automatically share custody. If the parents are not married when the child is born, the mother initially has sole custody. It becomes joint if both make a custody declaration (Sorgeerklärung) – free of charge at the youth welfare office, even before the birth –, if they marry or if the family court grants it. Acknowledging paternity alone is not enough.
2Everyday decisions and major decisions
If separated parents share custody, the parent the child lives with decides everyday matters alone: bedtime, a doctor's visit for a cold, a sleepover at a friend's. On matters of considerable importance both have to agree – for example choosing a school, moving abroad or a planned operation. If they cannot agree, the family court decides on application.
3Right and duty of contact
Every child has the right to contact with both parents, and both parents have the right and the duty to it. Contact and child support are legally separate: not paying support does not cost anyone their contact rights, and seeing the child less does not end the duty to pay. If you get stuck, the youth welfare office advises and mediates free of charge.
4Child support and advance maintenance
The parent the child does not live with pays cash support. How much depends on their income and the child's age; the Düsseldorf Table (Düsseldorfer Tabelle) gives guidance. For minor children, half of the child benefit is credited. If the other parent pays nothing or too little, the youth welfare office pays advance maintenance (Unterhaltsvorschuss) up to the 18th birthday – from the 12th birthday under extra conditions – and recovers the money from the liable parent.
5Maternity protection around the birth
The protection period starts six weeks before the birth and ends eight weeks after it, twelve weeks after premature or multiple births. During this time there is maternity pay plus a top-up from the employer, together roughly the previous net income. From pregnancy until four months after the birth, dismissal is generally prohibited. Since June 2025 there is also a protection period after a miscarriage from the 13th week of pregnancy.
6Parental leave and parental allowance
Until the child's third birthday, each parent can take up to three years of parental leave (Elternzeit), up to 24 months of it also later, until the eighth birthday. You request parental leave in writing with your signature, for the first three years at least seven weeks in advance; from the request, at most eight weeks before the start, you are protected against dismissal. Basic parental allowance (Basiselterngeld) usually replaces 65 to 67 per cent of net income before the birth, at least 300 and at most 1,800 euros a month. For births since 1 April 2025 it does not apply if the parents' taxable income exceeds 175,000 euros a year.
7Child benefit and child supplement
Child benefit (Kindergeld) is paid for every child up to 18, and up to 25 while in school, vocational training or university. Since 1 January 2026 it has been 259 euros per child per month. You apply at the family benefits office (Familienkasse); it pays back at most six months. Families on a low income can also get the child supplement (Kinderzuschlag) and with it education and participation benefits, for example for school trips or lunch.
8Daycare, school and sick-child pay
From the first birthday every child has a legal right to a place in a daycare centre (Kita) or with a childminder; since 1 August 2026, first-graders also have a right to all-day care at primary school. School attendance is compulsory in Germany. If your child is under twelve and ill, you get unpaid leave with a doctor's certificate and sick-child pay (Kinderkrankengeld) from the health insurer. In 2026 this applies for up to 15 working days per child and parent, up to 30 for single parents.
Quiz: test your knowledge
Twelve questions from family life. Tap an answer – then you'll see the explanation with the matching section of the law.
Question 1You are not married, your baby has arrived and the father has acknowledged paternity. Does that automatically give him joint custody?
Correct.The right answer: No, that also needs custody declarations from both parents, marriage or a family court decision. Paternity and custody are two different things. For unmarried parents, joint custody arises through custody declarations, marriage or a court decision (§ 1626a BGB). You can make the custody declaration free of charge at the youth welfare office, even before the birth.
Question 2You are separated and share custody; your eight-year-old daughter lives with her mother. What does the mother need the father's consent for?
Correct.The right answer: Switching to a different type of school or a planned operation. The parent the child lives with decides everyday matters alone. Matters of considerable importance – choice of school, a planned operation, moving abroad – need both parents' consent (§ 1687 BGB). Without agreement, the family court decides on application (§ 1628 BGB).
Question 3The father hasn't paid child support for two months. May the mother cancel the weekend visits because of it?
Correct.The right answer: No, contact and child support are legally separate. Contact rights do not depend on child support (§ 1684 BGB). You recover missing support another way: with free legal assistance from the youth welfare office (Beistandschaft), with advance maintenance or through the family court.
Question 4The other parent pays no child support for your child. What can you do?
Correct.The right answer: Apply for advance maintenance at the youth welfare office – it recovers the money from the other parent. Advance maintenance is paid up to the 18th birthday; from the 12th birthday there are extra income conditions (Advance Maintenance Act, UhVorschG). With a free Beistandschaft, the youth welfare office also enforces the support for you.
Question 5You receive a dismissal. Three days later the doctor tells you that you were already pregnant when you were dismissed. What applies?
Correct.The right answer: The dismissal is invalid if you inform the employer of the pregnancy within two weeks of receiving the dismissal. The ban on dismissal applies from the start of pregnancy, even if nobody knew about it yet – and also during probation. Inform the employer within two weeks of receiving the dismissal; if you find out later through no fault of your own, then immediately afterwards (§ 17 MuSchG, Maternity Protection Act). Get advice and keep the three-week deadline for a claim at the labour court in mind.
Question 6How and when do you request parental leave for the first years after the birth?
Correct.The right answer: In writing with your handwritten signature, at least seven weeks before it starts. For the period up to the third birthday the notice period is seven weeks, for the time after that up to the eighth birthday 13 weeks (§ 16 BEEG, Parental Allowance and Leave Act). The law requires written form, meaning paper with a signature; according to the Federal Labour Court, email or fax is not enough.
Question 7Your child turns 18 and starts a three-year apprenticeship. Does child benefit continue?
Correct.The right answer: Yes, during school, vocational training or university up to the 25th birthday. For adult children in school, vocational training or university, child benefit is paid up to the 25th birthday (§ 32(4) EStG). Report the start of training with proof to the family benefits office. After completing a first qualification, the child may work at most 20 hours a week alongside.
Question 8From what age does a child have a legal right to a place in daycare or with a childminder?
Correct.The right answer: From the first birthday. From the first birthday there is a legal right to care in a daycare centre or with a childminder (§ 24(2) SGB VIII), from the third birthday to a daycare place. Register your child early; if you don't get a place, the right can be enforced in court if necessary.
Question 9Your six-year-old has a high fever, and the doctor certifies that the child needs care at home. You and your child have statutory health insurance. What applies?
Correct.The right answer: You may stay at home and get sick-child pay from the health insurer. Sick-child pay is available for children under twelve if you and your child have statutory health insurance (§ 45 SGB V). The employer releases you for these days; the health insurer usually pays 90 per cent of the lost net wage.
Question 10Flights are much cheaper three days before the summer holidays. May you take your school-age child out of school early without permission?
Correct.The right answer: No, compulsory schooling applies until the last school day – unexcused absence can lead to a fine. Compulsory schooling is set out in the school laws of the federal states. Exemption right before the holidays is only granted in exceptional cases; the head teacher decides on a written application. Unexcused absence is an administrative offence that can lead to a fine.
Question 11Your child turns 18, is still at grammar school (Gymnasium) and lives with you. What changes regarding child support?
Correct.The right answer: Both parents now pay cash support according to their income, and the full child benefit is credited towards the need. With adulthood, care no longer counts as a form of support; both parents are liable for cash support in proportion to their income (§ 1606(3) BGB). Child benefit is credited in full towards the need (§ 1612b BGB). Pupils up to 21 who still live with a parent are treated like minor children here.
Question 12You had no income before the birth, for example because you were studying. Do you get parental allowance?
Correct.The right answer: Yes, at least 300 euros of basic parental allowance a month. Even without income before the birth, the minimum of 300 euros a month applies (§ 2(4) BEEG), or 150 euros as ElterngeldPlus over twice as many months. If you receive basic income support, parental allowance is usually counted as income.
What you can do now
- If you are unmarried parents, make the custody declaration together at the youth welfare office, ideally before the birth.
- Apply for child benefit and parental allowance right after the birth, with the birth certificate and the child's tax ID.
- Request parental leave in writing with your signature and keep a copy with the date of receipt.
- Put agreements on contact and child support in writing, for example with support from the youth welfare office.
- Register for a daycare place early and get written confirmation of the registration.
Personal advice
Youth welfare office (Jugendamt): free advice on separation, custody and contact, certification of custody declarations and child support, Beistandschaft and advance maintenance.
Federal family portal (Familienportal): all family benefits with calculators and application routes at a glance (familienportal.de, in German).
Pregnancy and family counselling: pro familia, Caritas, Diakonie and other organisations give free advice on pregnancy, maternity protection and money for families (profamilia.de).
Sources
This guide gives you general orientation on German law. For your specific case, an advice centre or a lawyer is the right place to go.
